How to Address your Wedding Invitations … the proper way!
One of the most common questions I get from couples is “how in the world do we address the envelopes for our invitations!” It’s not a closely guarded secret, but there is some misinformation out there (and information not intended for Canadians!), so I’m here to give you some quick tips and rules you should follow to ensure your invitations reach their destination on-time, and ensuring guests names are printed properly!
I’m a big fan of “there are no rules when it comes to your wedding stationery”, but some rules we have actually do need to follow … unfortunately! Let me break them down for you:
Ensure that the text on your envelopes is legible.
This means, exclude hard to read fonts, and ensure there is enough contrast between the text and envelope colour.
Address your envelopes using your guests correct name(s).
This may seem like an obvious rule, but you’d be surprised how many times couples have to reprint envelopes because they didn’t update a newly married person’s surname, or had the wrong name for their plus one! (how embarrassing!)
Follow formality etiquette for guest titles.
If you’re having a backyard or informal wedding, you shouldn’t include guest titles (Mr. / Mrs. / Mx. /etc.) … first and last names will suffice. When your wedding ceremony is taking place in a church, and/or your having a more formal affair, you can include the titles. Here’s a breakdown of guest titles and when they should be used by gender.
Mr. - Masculine guests who identify as male. Married, or unmarried and any age.
Miss - Feminine guests who identify as female. Unmarried, and under the age of 18.
Ms. - Feminine guests who identify as female. Divorced, or unmarried over the age of 18.
Mrs. - Feminine guests who identify as female. Married at any age.
Mx. - Gender neutral guests at any age. This title indicates neither marital status, or gender.
Dr. / Captain / Lieutenant / , Esq. / Honourable - For anyone who is a doctor, military professional, lawyer or judge, you should always indicate distinguished title.
If you don’t know the proper title or last name someone uses, ask them! Taking the time to ask your guests, show them you genuinely care about them.
Always include your return address on the back of the envelope, as well as your RSVP return envelope.
This is SUPER important. If your address is not on the envelope, and the invitation is undeliverable, the post office needs to return it to you. Without an address, it won’t come back to you!
Why are invitations returned?
Insufficient postage, missing unit number or street number or guest(s) moved.
OK, the rules are over! Phew!
Once you’ve determined if your event is formal or informal - the rest is easy! Just kidding … this is a very tedious and strenuous planning element of your wedding. Sorry, I wish I could sugarcoat it! Here’s some help (using my family names) to keep in mind when addressing your invitations:
First, give yourself enough time to collect addresses. Sometimes you can compile your list within a few days, other times (surprisingly) it can takes weeks!
In Canada, generally we only use 1 envelope when mailing invitations. An outer and inner envelope is a very American thing to do.
If you’re inviting an entire household, list all the names on the envelope OR include the family name with ‘and family’
(informal) Curtis, Heather, Zachary & Preston Nagle
(formal) Mr. & Mrs. Curtis and Heather Nagle, Mr. Zachary and Mr. Preston Nagle
OR Nagle Family
Consider using the more modern way of addressing a couple. Instead of using Mr. & Mrs. Curtis Nagle, use Mr. & Mrs. Curtis and Heather Nagle.
For a married couple using different names: Mr. Curtis Nagle and Mrs. Heather Saynor
For an unmarried couple in the same house: Mr. Curtis Nagle and Ms. Heather Saynor
Guests over the age of 18 living at home should receive their own invitation (and a guest if your guest list allows)
Who’s name goes first? Some couples choose to list the person they’re closest with first, followed by that person’s partner. Some list in alphabetical order. Ultimately, it’s your choice! The only exception is for guests with a distinguished title - then, the first guest is the person with the highest-ranking title.
Have fun and add ‘please deliver to’ above the guest names or a decoration of some sort. As adults, we get so many bills in the mail, that it’s nice to receive something pretty once in a while!
As always, if you have ANY questions, don’t hesitate to ask!